Last weekend my amazingly beautiful, and intelligent niece, got married. My son, and original BTL, asked his girlfriend to move in with him, and my BTL (and partner on this site) is contemplating having her boyfriend move in with her.
The one thing they have in common? They are all in their twenties. Oh, young love…so innocent, fraught with drama and confusion. Remember those days?
It makes me sad when I share the pictures of my niece’s wedding online, and report to my family and friends how my son and my precious BTL are doing. Mostly, I get these comments; “that’s great” or “you must be happy for them.”
But there are always a handful of friends, and family, that feel so inclined to comment, “well that won’t last for long.”
My response is always, “really?” Why can’t we just hold a positive place in the Universe for them? Why can’t we pledge our support, and lend an ear when they are struggling.
Most of us have been through really horrible relationships. That doesn’t mean that we cannot mentor these young lovers.
I once had to attend a meeting with my Mother and her lawyers to discuss the hiring of independent contractors. I literally got off a plane, explained to my Mother that my hair was not purple, “it was Merlot.” I sat down and listened to the constant drone of expensive lawyers telling my Mom how to run her business.
She wanted to hire independent contractors to assist her in reaching out and responding to new customers. I interrupted their conversation and advised her that she probably should not do that.
She turned to me with that I’m-your-Mom-don’t-question-me look on her face and said, “I hardly think that you should be giving me business advice especially since your business just filed for bankruptcy.”
Yeah, no problem…I figured this was coming. I said, “Mom, I may not be able to tell you what to do, but I certainly can tell you what not to do.”
So how does this pertained to our star-crossed BTLs? Simple. The odds are high that they are going to make the same mistakes we made in the early throws of our relationships. But back in those days, we didn’t have anyone to talk to. We lived under the societal rules that airing our dirty laundry in public was wrong. There was no Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat. We had two choices; pick up the phone or write a letter. Who did that? Not me. Nor did I reach out to my elders for help and advice.
How do we prevent our BTLs from suffering the same pain we had in our relationships? We reach out, we like their posts, we ask questions. Good Lord, we have so many options to stay in touch and help these amazing kiddos.
So, please spare me the negative comments. I’ve got this. I hope you’ve got this too. The only way that we are going to survive as a species is to Love.
The next time you are offered the opportunity to witness a beautiful wedding, or the coming together of two amazing souls, make a commitment to mentor, advise and provide them with support.
“Love is reflected in Love” Mary Baker Eddy